In many Countries, the issue of Bride price has
been known to be a well grounded factor in
determining your franchise over the lady.
In some parts of the world, this issue has been
blown beyond proportion that huge money is
usually asked by the Bride's parent and many
suitors see this as very discouraging.
The amazing fact is that if you ask anyone why a
bride price must be paid,they will be very quick to
answer that GOD commanded it and even our
pastors are quick to lay emphasis on this as a
condition that must be met before a man and
woman can be said to be married before GOD.
But is Bride price really a condition necessary for
marriage? Can we say you are really married even
if bride price have not been paid? Did GOD
specifically lay down this as a law or was it man
made tradition? Can Bride price be paid at
anytime during the course of the couple living
together as Man and wife? and is it proper for the
bride's parents to present a list or ask for
monetary bride price from the groom's family?
These shocking truths from the very Bible people
use as yardstick for bride price will clear the air.
1. Bride price was never a commandment from
GOD as a condition for marriage but only as a
penalty for rape and in fact, you can still pay
the Bride price and still be denied the woman
to be your wife by the Father.
Lets read this from the book of exodus 22:16-17:
"If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to
be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the
bride-price, and she shall be his wife.If her father
absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still
pay the bride-price for virgins."
Deuteronomy 22:28-29: "If a man happens to
meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married
and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall
pay her father fifty shekels[a] of silver. He must
marry the young woman,for he has violated her.
He can never divorce her as long as he lives.
2.Monetary bride is to be paid only on a virgin
provided the man has slept with her before he
decides to marry her but if the man has never
slept with her,there should be no need to pay
a dime on her.(Read again Exodus 22:16-17
above)
3.Even if a man meets a virgin and defiles her
and decides to marry her,no man is expected
to pay more than 50shekels of silver as a
penalty and according to Google research, 50
shekels of silver is just about 15usd today so
what is this madness going on where in some
places a man is asked to pay hundreds and
thousands for a lady who have probably slept
with many men.
4.There was never ever a place in the Bible
where GOD commanded the bride's parent to
present a list but it is the groom's
responsibility to bring whatever he dims fit for
the lady he wants to marry.
The great example in the Bible was Isaac's
marriage to Rebekah who was a virgin and there
was no monetary exchange or penalty
whatsoever between the two families but
affordable gifts were giving to Rebekkah's family
by Abraham but not demanded for by Rebekkah's
family. Read Genesis 24:52-54.
5. Bride price according to the bible is all about
virgins and all the references and bible verses
all point to paying a penalty for defiling a
virgin as well as giving gifts as Abraham did to
Rebekah who also happen to be a virgin.
Genesis 24:15-16:Before he had finished praying,
Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder.
She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah,
who was the wife of Abraham's brother
Nahor. The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no
man had ever slept with her. She went down to
the spring, filled her jar and came up again.
6.Payment of monetary bride price on ladies
generally whether virgins or non virgins is a
tradition and not a direct commandment from
GOD and in some countries like india,its a
woman that actually pays a dowry on the
groom and not the other way round.
7.Presenting list or asking for monetary bride
price from a man who conscientiously marries
a lady is man made rule and not from GOD
hence becomes a sin because its better to
obey GOD rather than men.
Acts 5:29:Peter and the other apostles replied:
"We must obey God rather than human beings!
Conclusively i would advice that we just flow with
the fun fare and traditions of the land and pay
the bride price to either the Father of the Bride or
the Mother of any lady we want to marry even if
she is a LovePeddler.
Nevertheless.outrageous monetary bride price or
list must be discouraged because it is not even
Biblical in the first place but only necessary to
obey customs and traditions.
Even Prophet Mohamed(May the peace of GOD
be upon him) has this to say:
"the most blessed marriage is one in which the
marriage partners place the least burden on
each other" (al-Haythami, Kitab ab-Nikah,
4:255).
My candid take.
been known to be a well grounded factor in
determining your franchise over the lady.
In some parts of the world, this issue has been
blown beyond proportion that huge money is
usually asked by the Bride's parent and many
suitors see this as very discouraging.
The amazing fact is that if you ask anyone why a
bride price must be paid,they will be very quick to
answer that GOD commanded it and even our
pastors are quick to lay emphasis on this as a
condition that must be met before a man and
woman can be said to be married before GOD.
But is Bride price really a condition necessary for
marriage? Can we say you are really married even
if bride price have not been paid? Did GOD
specifically lay down this as a law or was it man
made tradition? Can Bride price be paid at
anytime during the course of the couple living
together as Man and wife? and is it proper for the
bride's parents to present a list or ask for
monetary bride price from the groom's family?
These shocking truths from the very Bible people
use as yardstick for bride price will clear the air.
1. Bride price was never a commandment from
GOD as a condition for marriage but only as a
penalty for rape and in fact, you can still pay
the Bride price and still be denied the woman
to be your wife by the Father.
Lets read this from the book of exodus 22:16-17:
"If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to
be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the
bride-price, and she shall be his wife.If her father
absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still
pay the bride-price for virgins."
Deuteronomy 22:28-29: "If a man happens to
meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married
and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall
pay her father fifty shekels[a] of silver. He must
marry the young woman,for he has violated her.
He can never divorce her as long as he lives.
2.Monetary bride is to be paid only on a virgin
provided the man has slept with her before he
decides to marry her but if the man has never
slept with her,there should be no need to pay
a dime on her.(Read again Exodus 22:16-17
above)
3.Even if a man meets a virgin and defiles her
and decides to marry her,no man is expected
to pay more than 50shekels of silver as a
penalty and according to Google research, 50
shekels of silver is just about 15usd today so
what is this madness going on where in some
places a man is asked to pay hundreds and
thousands for a lady who have probably slept
with many men.
4.There was never ever a place in the Bible
where GOD commanded the bride's parent to
present a list but it is the groom's
responsibility to bring whatever he dims fit for
the lady he wants to marry.
The great example in the Bible was Isaac's
marriage to Rebekah who was a virgin and there
was no monetary exchange or penalty
whatsoever between the two families but
affordable gifts were giving to Rebekkah's family
by Abraham but not demanded for by Rebekkah's
family. Read Genesis 24:52-54.
5. Bride price according to the bible is all about
virgins and all the references and bible verses
all point to paying a penalty for defiling a
virgin as well as giving gifts as Abraham did to
Rebekah who also happen to be a virgin.
Genesis 24:15-16:Before he had finished praying,
Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder.
She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah,
who was the wife of Abraham's brother
Nahor. The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no
man had ever slept with her. She went down to
the spring, filled her jar and came up again.
6.Payment of monetary bride price on ladies
generally whether virgins or non virgins is a
tradition and not a direct commandment from
GOD and in some countries like india,its a
woman that actually pays a dowry on the
groom and not the other way round.
7.Presenting list or asking for monetary bride
price from a man who conscientiously marries
a lady is man made rule and not from GOD
hence becomes a sin because its better to
obey GOD rather than men.
Acts 5:29:Peter and the other apostles replied:
"We must obey God rather than human beings!
Conclusively i would advice that we just flow with
the fun fare and traditions of the land and pay
the bride price to either the Father of the Bride or
the Mother of any lady we want to marry even if
she is a LovePeddler.
Nevertheless.outrageous monetary bride price or
list must be discouraged because it is not even
Biblical in the first place but only necessary to
obey customs and traditions.
Even Prophet Mohamed(May the peace of GOD
be upon him) has this to say:
"the most blessed marriage is one in which the
marriage partners place the least burden on
each other" (al-Haythami, Kitab ab-Nikah,
4:255).
My candid take.